Today I’m pleased to feature challenger L W Hawksby who has responded to the writing challenge to write a story in UNDER one hundred words with ‘And there she was’.
Even as the fire burned and smoke billowed, she didn’t die. Lucia was so much more than the Lucifer who made her. As a female being she owned his brutality, apathy and betrayals and let them singe and strengthen her. Head high, eyes ahead, she stepped out of the ashes, brushed herself down & walked on, better, braver and bolder. She was more dangerous than his nightmares ever suggested. She would be harder to silence and harder to kill than anyone dared dream.
Ooh I can see this being expanded into a much longer story. What does everyone else think?
Note: L W Hawksby did indeed make this into a much longer story which can be found in a Memoir Dangerous Normal People: Understanding Casanova Psychopaths and the Narcissistic Virus
L W Hawksby will return to ‘Patricia’s Pen’ in July as a Tuesday Guest when she will discuss her writing. Don’t miss it.
Are you up to one of ‘Patricia Pen’s’ Challenges? Take a look at the guidelines for the Story or Haiku Challenge and submit via the online form on this link for consideration.
I really enjoyed this piece of work. I was almost with her stepping out and brushing herself down. I agree with Tricia. Opening paragraph ?
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I’m glad that you enjoyed it, Magsmaud. ‘Patricia’s Pen’ looks forward to your contribution to the story challenge.
I liked this- seems like the intro to a super villain. Maybe marvel film. I did not see the phrase “and there she was,” though. I would suggest plugging that into this sentence “ She was more dangerous than his nightmares ever suggested.” I would strike “she was” and put “And there she was, more dangerous…. I think that would help solidify her emergence.,
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Interesting ideas, Dan. Thank you for commenting. For your information, L W Hawksby has made this into a longer piece of writing which is featured in her Memoir
Note the title.
L W Hawksby will return to ‘Patricia’s Pen’ as a Tuesday guest when she will discuss her writing.